was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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