My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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