we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't deserve a penis
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
