We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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