trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
