why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
