i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
