i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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