i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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