I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think i got beer on your cat.
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