HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
