last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
