I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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