I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
