She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
