Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
