margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
