i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
