rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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