First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
