So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
