um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
