so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
there is puke in my bra ... again
Shame - the story of my life.
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