i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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