I bet he comes in French.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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