There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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