careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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