Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
