biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
