We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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