if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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