and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
