God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
