haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
