How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
