So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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