I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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