We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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