Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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