you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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