And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
