We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
