took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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