whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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