wanna go halves on a baby?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
