So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
