If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
