first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
