I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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