but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
ugly people sure do ruin things
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
