Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
