Its about making memories worth repressing
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
