He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
