i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
