Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
