Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
