He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
